Sunday, December 23, 2007

Chapter 22

Lily’s heart cartwheeled as she walked the thirty or so steps leading to the entrance of the Mount Holyoke Women’s Center. She handed her ticket to a polished-looking overly gleeful woman dressed in blue taffeta with a green speckled scarf around her neck. She checked her coat and dropped a dollar in the tip jar. She then looked straight ahead, straightened her shoulders, swallowed hard, and walked through the doors into a vastly oversized room with a 25 foot ceiling and giant black and white photographs of famous women covering the far left wall.
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The room was humming with women—hundreds—many huddled around three long tables in the center of the room, where dozens of appetizers had been tastefully prepared and arranged. Some women wore gowns, some tuxes, some dresses, others Ann Tailor or Brooks Brothers pants with fitted blouses, a few jeans with slightly dressy sweaters. Lily had struggled before she chose a pale blue Liz Clairborne silk dress, which fell just below her knees. She accessorized it with a thin black suede belt with tassles hanging from it, and a blue and purple scarf tied loosely around her neck. She had purposely chosen black tights and black flats in case she had to quickly move in one direction or another.
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The Queen City Prom, as Lily and Alex had long ago dubbed it for no particular reason, was actually an annual fundraiser sponsored by Mount Holyoke College to benefit local women’s shelters and services. Attended by several hundred mostly professional women, the event was close to a black tie event in substance and style. This included a first class band—this year the Dykaroos, and a swinging dance floor where couples and singles gaily swung to and fro, together and alone, unencumbered by the expectations of heterosexual decorum.
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Lily had not attended Queen City since her break up with Alex. This had not been a good thing, given she was on the Board of the Woman’s Center and rarely refused her money or presence in support of women and families in need. But this event was one of a few activities she simply could not do. She was confused and unsure why or how she had managed to come tonight.
.
Entering the carvernous room, her eyes scanned and darted every which way, looking for Alex, her 5 foot 7 inch 145 pound beloved former soul mate who had walked out on her by phone six years ago and for some reason decided they should reconnect before she unceremoniously died.
.
Lily was concerned that her dress hung on her too limply, which is pretty much how she felt internally. She had no idea what to do, how to walk, where to keep her hands, or what in the name of sweet Jesus world she would even say to Alex, on the assumption, of course, that Alex was even there. Maybe she wasn’t, Lily thought: she may have backed out, or been too sick. These were excruciating thoughts—that she had come and Alex had not—thoughts just formulating in torturous detail when Lily spotted Paula.

Paula stood approximately 60 yards in front of her, nervously standing by herself in the far left corner of the room, looking like a missionary at the Playboy mansion. Lily wondered why Alex’s heterosexual Catholic sister would be here at all, but before her brain could compute a reason so obvious and simple, she spotted Alex. At first she appeared as a tiny speck, surrounded by dozens of animated heads towering above her, but there she was, her head level with Paula's waist. That’s odd”, Lily thought. Alex was staring straight ahead at the main door. She had to have seen Lily enter.
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Lily was frozen. Still, she knew she had to move, so she took a rapid succession of small unsteady steps until Alex was 30 feet in front of her. She stopped, stunned: there was glorious hell-bent Alex, in a wheelchair, a silk purple bandanna around her head, large silver hoop earrings dangling through, thin as a rail, pale and pasty, and still radiant. Paula protectively stood beside her sister, looking like she might cry.
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Once Lily had asked her orthopedic surgeon why she did not remember losing consciousness during arthroscopic surgery. He explained that although she had indeed been conscious and interactive for a full five minutes that she could not recall, her brain shut down before it could store those moments into memory. This is what was happening now as she grasped the reality of seeing Alex. Her brain had totally shut down.
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Lily did not know until afterwards that she flung her purse on the floor and ran to her at full speed, welling tears obscuring her view, reaching her by instinct alone. Lily was kneeling in front of Alex, staring into eyes she would know anywhere. It was just seconds—not more than one or two probably-- before she put her arms around her neck and deeply nestled her face into her--an exhausted dove landing safely after an arduous flight home.
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For a flickering moment Alex looked startled, tentative. But her brain had fared no better: her breathing was irregular but determined. She lifted her thin arms, clasped her hands together, and locked them around Lily’s neck. Neither of them moved or spoke. They were frozen in their embrace, buried in the warmth of each other’s skin, recalling scents and sensations so familiar it was as if no time had passed at all; as if they might stay this way forever, oblivious to everything around them
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Then, Alex laughed--it was the sound of jingling coins in a happy pocket.
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Oh Lily, oh Lily” she said. “I imagined everything, over and over, but I never guessed that you would run like that. That was so good, Lily."
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Alex’s eyes glistened. “Let me look at you. Oh my God, you’ve lost weight. You look terrific. Oh Lily”.
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And then, as an afterthought, she added, “I don’t look so good, huh?”
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Lily was speechless. She cleared her throat and tried to pull herself together. She muffled a quiet sob that would not stop and she awkwardly wiped her eyes with her scarf. She tried to stand but Alex would have none of it. She held on tightly.
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“No Lily. No. Stay here. Hey,” Alex said, “I bought you a drink. Here. Drink it fast. Then I’ll buy you another”.
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“Alex...”,
Lily cleared her throat again and began to speak.
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“Wait Lily”, Alex said. “First let’s remember who we are together. Then let me apologize and you can call me an asshole. And then we’ll talk. Ok?”
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“Oh, and I’d like to let Paula leave this den of lesbians now as long as you don’t mind helping me with my personal needs”.
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Lily smiled. She was shocked at how relaxed she felt. It was as though she had returned to the weeping willow tree of her childhood, where she would linger for hours, playing with her imaginary friends, feeling invisible and invincible.

She threw her head back and laughed out loud,
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“Jesus”, Lily said, “I don’t even get a moment to fall apart before I have to be on bathroom duty?”
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“Life’s a bitch, Lily”
. Alex grinned back. “But then again sometimes you get the chance to do it right.”
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Before Lily could say another word, Alex smiled again. “Oh, and Lily… my suitcase. Do you mind if we put it in your car?”

17 comments:

  1. WhaT?!!! Just like that she decides to go back to Lilly? Oh yeah. What about her cancer? What about her children? It's awful that she leaves them while she is critically ill. While it may be less trouble for the children, they are old enough to be an integral part in her recovery. Okay, I am being judgmental here but this Alex is one selfish woman. Lilly should stop being an emotional doormat. I don't believe in "soulmates" theory. One of them ought to recognize her obligation. Alex is a "people user." Poor Lilly...This is really very good writing. I am getting agitated and getting involved. Oh Merry Christmas to these women for heaven's sakes.

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  2. ces, hold on: there's more....

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  3. That is why, I am not a novel writer. My characters' lives will be boring and they will all be stoic.

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  4. SANTA'S BEEN!
    SANTA'S BEEN!
    SANTA'S BEEN!

    Merry Christmas KJ!!!! I'll have to come back and read your Chapter later :)))

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  5. I'm holding on too, to see what happens. Alex is dying (maybe) and she's scared. But did Lily have to cancel her wedding-will she lose her future to care for her past? Yet, if she felt that strongly about Alex still, maybe Alex is not her past. Oh why can't we just all love and take care of each other and be happy!!!!

    I don't think I've ever had a true soulmate, just brief times where souls have touched. If this is what true soul matery is, maybe I'm lucky.

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  6. All we want is a minute to decompress, that minute to fall apart and be one with our surroundings, letting the thoughts unwind under our own willow trees, before carrying on.

    Beautiful.

    Merry Christmas, KJ.

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  7. Merry Christmas, KJ.
    Sorry for not reading your work, but I really cannot read this much text on screen. This much text I need on paper.

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  8. Oh, you're on a roll girl! Chapter 22 and you're storytelling, your picture painting is almost movie-screen big! Incredible! Wishing you all a wonderful Holiday! clink!

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  9. kj! it feels so good to finally stop by your blog (i have fallen so behind in my blog reading that i am ashamed!) :)- now that i'm here i am realizing that i need to come back to do some serious reading. you've been busy!! you're on a role!!! :)

    just know that even in my absence i've been thinking about you. i hope you and your family are having a nice time together over the holiday season. i'm sending you lots of love!
    j.

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  10. Merry Christmas to you and your family KJ!

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  11. "Entering the carvernous room, her eyes scanned and darted every which way, looking for Alex, her 5 foot 7 inch 145 pound beloved former soul mate who had walked out on her by phone six years ago and for some reason decided they should reconnect before she unceremoniously died."

    Awesome!! :) This encapsulates so much ...

    Keep writing!!

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  12. "Once Lily had asked her orthopedic surgeon why she did not remember losing consciousness during arthroscopic surgery. He explained that although she had indeed been conscious and interactive for a full five minutes that she could not recall, her brain shut down before it could store those moments into memory."

    In the ER, I always loved administering Versed injections to patients. They were conscious but did not remeber anything about the procedure.

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  13. Ces-could I get some Versed for trips to my Mom's....?

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  14. I'm really pleased KJ's and Lilly's arthroscopic surgery went well and unremembered. I remember EVERYTHING about my first one except couldn't say anything to let anyone else know. Just managed a tear roll down my cheek.

    I'm still reading KJ! This chapter is extra well written in regards to descriptions placing us at the scene, looking this way and seeing that way :)

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  15. I do think that Alex is making some dangerous assumptions, but I do not agree that one should live their life fulfilling obligations to others first, and addressing their own happiness last, if ever. I think it's important that both characters follow their hearts. Alex's children will always be her children, she's not disgarding them selfishly. She's been denying her own happiness for years. Sheeesh.

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  16. to all: i just love your comments. they make writing this story so much more real and textured. it is easy for me to understand ALL sides to quandry before each character, but beneath it all, this is a love story....

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  17. Ces's comment is hilarious! This is so emotional and deeply layered! I got a lump in my throat for both of them!

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