Thursday, November 01, 2007

Thursday 13: SIGH....

How I would like to write a witty comical Thursday 13 today. Instead, I'm choosing the messier path of congruence. I'm not even sure what to write, but I'll at least try to make it real.

1. After three months of rehab. for her broken hip, for the first time in my life, my mother is temporarily living with me while we all figure out her needs and options.
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2. She is a wonderful terrific magnificent person, with a great sense of humor and a never-ending desire to do her share, but let's face it: the natural world does not facillitate grown adults sharing an established life and living space with a parent. I know this arrangement occurs frequently in some cultures, and maybe my life is too full for its own good, and I'm trying to be calm and sweet, but hey!--this is hard for both of us. (I also know I may get some flack for this: I mean no offense).
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3. # 2 affected my twice a year writing group at the Big Yellow. There, a dozen or so writers and songwriters get together, write, read, sing and share for the better part of a weekend. With a knee problem I didn't know I had, and a mother unsure of her surroundings, I hobbled in and out this sacred event with rollercoaster emotions. But when it was all over, I can only say it was again totally wonderful. This is a special group of people who will again reconvene next April. I have no doubt some of us will become successfully "established" in the craft of writing.
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4. I am buying a guitar. Then I am going to learn to play it. Then I am going to sing songs outloud, even though I can't carry a tune.
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5. Every year I tell myself I want to be done with buying Christmas presents by Thanksgiving so I can spend the holidays baking and making artistic-type things. I also think if I start early, I won't have those sky high credit card bills. I fail every year, but that doesn't stop me from trying.
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6. I hate malls and avoid them, except for book and stationary stores.
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7. This is partially why I do not like my wardrobe. I don't shop enough to find really cool clothes, even though I like really cool clothes.
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8. I forget that I have a temper. Sometimes getting mad is helpful to me and sometimes it's unnecessarily hurtful to others. Recently I overreacted to a perceived slight: I went to bed feeling justified and woke up feeling terrible. That must be where the term "sleep on it" comes from. I am shocked when I just "snap", and that's what I did.
9. I've gotten better at understanding that my interpretation of something isn't the same as someone else's, but that doesn't make it any easier in the heat of the moment--not until we both know it's about understanding and/or compromise, not about winning or losing. Would you rather be right or happy? No contest.
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10. jb and I finally won our battle with the City for their snowplow damaging our fence. It took 22 months 3 denials, and 4 appeals of our claim. That temper of mine swings into high gear when something doesn't seem fair, and it doesn't matter whether it involves me or someone else. I couldn't find a lawyer to take on this little fence injustice so I handled it myself. And I'm glad and proud we won afterall.
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11. Our friend Liz just celerated her birthday and we found the perfect wall-hanging present for her. She opened it, held it in front of her, and said with the widest smile, "Oh, my God--it's me!"

12. Here he is: Mr. Ryan. Can't you just tell what an interesting fascinating wonderful human being he will always be?
13. I found this visual on someone's blog and cannot remember who to thank for it. But it got me thinking that I want my blog to be worthy of this "award", "announcement", or whatever else it may be. I'm into kindness these days, and I say this after I've spent the last 24 hours being quite a jerk....
Addendum: From nowhere comes # 14, complements of Jimmy James' "Living From the Heart Blog":
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You learn to speak by speaking, to study by studying, to run by running, to work by working; in just the same way, you learn to love by loving. St. Francis De Sales
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Hope it's a good weekend.

22 comments:

  1. I want to say congratulations on number ten! You know what it means to 'never give up'! Number four is very funny but I'm laughing with you and not at you :)

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  2. Ditto on #5. I wish I could help you with #7 since I really enjoy doing that stuff. Congratulations on #10 too!

    Mr. Ryan is too adorable! Makes me have babies on my mind.

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  3. anon, you will laugh more when you hear me sing!

    menchie, I wish you could help me with # 7 too! (always nice to see your avatar)

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  4. Hiya KJ - yes, #1 would be hard, and it is interesting to consider that other cultures would find it less hard - What arent they telling us? :)
    #4 - GO FOR IT!!!
    #7 - I hate malls too, and so then I say 'I will make myself funky clothes that reflect who Iam'....HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I wonder when that is going to happen Tehehehehe
    #10 - GOOD ONYA MATE!!! Way to go!!!

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  5. I really like the idea of you buying a guitar. I'd like to take up playing, but I need to find the time. And my son won't have time to teach me how to play. But then he did it by himself, so why should I not be able to do so?

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  6. lavender,i think other cultures have families close to oneanother, so there is support from all sides. that would make quite a difference. i can easily imagine you making and wearing funky clothes. i think you should!!!

    peter, i don't have time either. i figure in the late hours and rainy days i will sit on the couch and learn the chords. then i will learn two songs i adore. then i will sing to myself. HA!

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  7. note: this morning i see three spelling errors in this post. someone i know is going to wince when she sees them!

    :)

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  8. 1 and 2 -- What you're doing is a big change in life and that can be really difficult, no matter what culture or family! I think you're being too hard on yourself -- be gentle with you ... it's okay to feel frustrated, stressed, resentful, and tired. It's all a part of change ... and if you give yourself permission to feel all of it, you'll get to a better place faster. Hugs!

    I hate malls! I shop for Christmas early ... usually ... but this year I haven't even gotten started ... hmmmm.

    HOORAY for settling about the fence! I thought of that when we pulled in, but forgot to ask.

    I can't wait to see you strumming at the hootenanny. :)

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  9. I don't think there is anything wrong with your #2. What is good is a blog if you can't be honest? I know you are handling it with love, that's what matters!
    If you do accomplish #4 teach me. Mine has been collecting dust since I moved here.
    Congrats on # 10, who said you can't fight city hall? Great job!

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  10. i hadn't visited in awhile, and suddenly i am overwhelmed at how i could be missing this...

    Wonderful post!
    Thanks!

    (Congrats on the new guitar!)

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  11. melissa, thank you, thank you, thank you.

    rm, if i learn how to strum anything at all , i'll be pleased.

    leo! i've wondered how you are! how is your writing?

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  12. Hello my dear. You are on my mind. As for the guitar, I have my brother's cast off, which is too big for my hands, but I take it out now and then (maybe tonight!) and play through a few songs. I highly recommend our dear NN's songbooks if you want to sing some of her soothing tunes--she has chord maps at the front of her song books and I've taught myself at least a dozen chords that way! Very user friendly.

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  13. I've said it before and I'll say it again - That ryan of yours issome kind of special - just look at that engagement in his expression - he's a thinker!
    Congrats on the battle of the fence victory - well done - you've struck a blow at bureaucracy.

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  14. Oh you rock girl! Buying a guitar and taking on city hall.....Yup, you rock!

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  15. I hope your mother heals fast and well, there is nothing more difficult than a grown child with their parent under their roof, no matter how wonderful the said parent may be. My father lived with us for the last year of his life, it was traumatic for everyone.

    And a temper is a must for anyone with passion - you are very aware not to abuse it, if you water it with compassion (which you obviously do), it is an asset to treasure!

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  16. KJ only wishes she has a temper. She does not have a temper, if she does it is temperate and warm. Yours is a kind blog. You are a phenomenal woman and I am thankful you are my best friend.

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  17. Was that Ces giving another award? Hhehheeee

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  18. Anon, she already got that one. :-)

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  19. I love #4! Please tell us how it goes.

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  20. KJ, we are in the same spot with our parents. I thought to create some space by buying a house on their block, but I'm beginning to think that might be a little too close. This is unexplored vistas because my upbringing was geared towards getting me raised and gone. Most Okies who get any sort of education leave and don't come back. But, I'm not like the other girls...LOL.

    I also see a trend among people my age of just general upheaval. I think this "settling into midlife" might just be a lie.

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  21. Yeah for winning the fence battle!

    THE LITTLE PEOPLE PREVAIL.

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  22. I can't remember the last time I was in a mall. They make me dizzy. Don 't you have boutiques or thrift shops where you live? You could also do some shopping online.

    My mother and I would kill each other if we had to live together. It almost happened when I was a teenager!

    Debra Kay, is right. There is no settling into. I find midlife to be as bad as puberty, maybe worse.

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