Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Stretch Marks

It was a short time away. I'm back. And I'm glad.

Last June I wrote a poem on guilt, so it's probably about time to deal with another tricky and useless emotion. This one, by the way, I would happily give away, sell, bury, or burn. The only positive thing I can say about it is at least it reminds me I'm a piece of work and a work in progress....

Jealousy

This one’s a no win.
You can shake your head and pace
and run your hands
through your hair
but you can’t expect.

You can let little tears
fall on your keyboard.
and remember how crazy
that voice within can be
but you can’t expect.

It’s fine to ask,
to put it out there
instead of keeping it inside a tattered box
where your little heart holds a toothpick for protection.
It’s fine to ask, but you can’t expect

because expecting lands you
on a one way road
where you lose no matter what.
You get what you want, maybe,
but only because.

Not for any other reason
you might hope for.
This is how it really works:
first, you have to trust yourself
and then you have to trust

that considerations are given
and choices weighed
and sometimes changes made
for your benefit only
because you can’t expect.

7 comments:

  1. This was great!
    Very well written, I read it aloud and it flowed well.
    I can even sense the emotion seeping from the words.
    Good one...

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  2. thanks leo. coming from you, i'm thrilled.....

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  3. Welcome back! I love this! My favorite line is about the heart wielding a toothpick for protection -- awesome!! Expectations ... I'm terrible with them and they are heartbreakers. Someone once told me 'expectations are resentments waiting to happen." xox

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  4. Maybe I don't get it but I am not apt to jealousy. I will just stop caring. If someone made me jealous, I will just walk away. I have other, better, more meaningful emotions to feel. I really don't know. Your poem, however is always a joy to read and I am so glad it was a short break because I'd miss you terribly like I did when you went to Italy!

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  5. ces, i don't have a problem with people i can and do easily walk away from. the tender important relationships are, for me anyway, something else again and i don't want to walk away from them, even if it means wrestling with myself sometimes.

    melissa: my favorite line too. thanks to billy collins and that little mouse...

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  6. But you should not feel jealousy, unless someone really does something intentionally to hurt you then that person is a jerk. Maybe I am too simplistic. I am talking more about the meaning of jealousy rather than the way you wrote this poem which is a beautiful expression of real emotions for some people. I think Aristotle wrote about Jealousy, oh wait, he wrote about Envy.

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