Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Longing for Destiny

Last night I returned to my big yellow weekly writing group. It's been 3 or 4 months since I've read one of my poems or stories outloud. When I do that, I connect with how much I love writing. I love it.

The prompt this week was from a book on love and somewhere in it was the phrase "longing for destiny". I got to thinking that sometimes the search for destiny can take you to the wrong place:


It’s a bus to nowhere, really.
It’ll stop for you, transport you somewhere else,
Accept your token and save you the effort
But you won’t find destiny there, if that’s what you’re looking for.

Once or twice you might think you have—
You might settle in with great hope,
Ready to let love and longing
Tumble onto you like a box of cherrios—
One circle and another filling the circle bowl you call your life.

Over time you may travel a number of buses
And any one may be your portal
To rich ground where you build your home,
Where you fall into a softened corner
And find your cherished place.

You wish. You wish it works this way. That’s fair.
But wishes aren’t like bus routes.
Wishes wither in the moments of now.
They require nourishment that comes only from the future,
And there is no portal to pass through
That will take you there and back.

The right moment. The right person. The right place.
The right job. The right time. The right break.

Right is what makes this wrong.
All of it.
When you decide right in advance,
Your possibilities cool like reheated toast.

Forget the endless bus routes.
It’s about today Now. Here. This moment.
This couch. That’s all of it.
You show up. You notice. You try.
And then you let the universe steer
Into the night. That’s plenty. That’s enough.

14 comments:

  1. this is so relevant for me right now, kj. thank you!

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  2. This is terrific, KJ. I have been a bad blogger lately and am trying to catch up. Reading your piece has made me even more anxious for Oct. 27th... Can't wait to see you!

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  3. Love it. I love it especially because I can hear you reading it.

    So sad I won't see you this Monday! I get very used to the ritual of Monday nights.

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  4. Tumble onto you like a box of cheerios—
    One circle and another filling the circle bowl you call your life.


    I like that image. :)

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  5. I wish I could be part of your group. This is great and reminds me why I never take public transport.

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  6. oh! I nearly forgot. I've tagged you. I do hope you don't mind.

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  7. You show up. You notice. You try.
    And then you let the universe steer
    Into the night. That’s plenty. That’s enough.

    wow, kj. that speaks to me so much. i appreciate it.

    (and i'm sorry it took me so long to find my way back to your blog!)

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  8. kj… what an amazing picture of real life you have painted here… sad for those who lie in wait… but for those who show up and try… and NEVER give up… life can be SO sweet… a real bowl of cherries (to alter your imagery a bit)… even though it seems that there is so much wrong out there… those instances are small and few and far between… yet for all those few… we must do someting… lest they grow and fester… as all thongs can…

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  9. The right moment. The right person. The right place.
    The right job. The right time. The right break.

    Right is what makes this wrong.
    All of it.
    When you decide right in advance,
    Your possibilities cool like reheated toast.



    But if you don't have any idea of what is right for you, you will just keep on wandering and sometimes never realize yourself.

    Except in painting...I never know...

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  10. goosebumbs. actual goosebumps.

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  11. ruby--i'm glad.

    a--can't wait to see you too.

    kris--always, thanks so much.

    liz--i like this image too.

    cp--you would love this group. i would love to have you in it!

    bee--glad for your visit.

    mike--really: you're one of the good guys!

    ces--in the moment you know what is "right". imagine living like you paint.what would that be?

    greta jane: from you, a huge compliment.


    xoxo

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  12. I have struggled with the "one destiny or many" question often. I feel like I have so many alternate lives but in the end, I see myself doing the same thing, but in varieties of different settings/with different people.

    It's too ealry in the morning to be thinking so deeply. Stop making me! :)

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  13. Well, Wow.

    "the search for destiny can take you to the wrong place."

    HA! You had me right there! Tell me about it!

    And your beautiful imagery of the bus trip and the tokens and where the heck are you headed on all these different buses on all these different routes...

    It's been the story of my life these last five years.

    But you know what? As much as it's a pain in the butt to keep getting on one bus and then off again and then onto another...it's a journey.

    It's like, at least I'm going SOMEWHERE rather than just sitting on the bench at the bus stop and not taking ANY buses ANYWHERE.

    And learning something new about a new destination or a new person with each ride.

    Inspiring, KJ, and meaningful.

    Thanks for this.

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  14. Fantastic!!! I love the Cheerios, and the "right" truly being wrong, because it's being shoved into a cookie cutter mold it doesn't fit in, and the end:

    "Forget the endless bus routes.
    It’s about today Now. Here. This moment.
    This couch. That’s all of it.
    You show up. You notice. You try.
    And then you let the universe steer
    Into the night. That’s plenty. That’s enough."

    Words to live by!

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